We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
