Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He shit in the fireplace
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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