What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
