how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
