Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
