i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
