Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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