That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
