I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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