those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
