its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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