Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
