hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize