I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think my vagina is haunted
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
