Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Can you repeat that, but with context?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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