You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
