guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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