whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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