Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
