No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
