haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
