so explain again why im purple
no
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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