I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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