that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
