My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
