Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
