You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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