he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
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Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
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I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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