you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
