the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
