fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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