i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize