I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
