the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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