come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
