i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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