the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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