The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
