We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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