just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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