you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Randomize
