I can't watch pbs sober anymore
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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