I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize