I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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