apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
