sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
