Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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