I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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