It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
