try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize