My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
