Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
then he tried to convert me to islam
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I pour the whiskey from now on
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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