Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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