she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize