Can i not drive my cunt home
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just googled if crying burns calories
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
