dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
