He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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