There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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