I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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