it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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