K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
