i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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