I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
