he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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