There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
