Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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