My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
